I used to believe that people have the right to choose whether they want to have a relationship or not.
Either way, I believe it wont affect them as a person.
Married, unmarried, its their life.
And we should stop judging people based on their relationship status.
My opinion changes.
Lets start with how's my life currently. About 2 weeks ago, my not-so-close friend offered me a 102 pages of English that needed to be translated. Being an unemployed myself, I accepted the offer and gathered a team of 5 to help me translate. Whilst gathering, my friend, lets call him Donkey, said to me that his boss is looking for a personal assistant. I, to be honest, am not familiar with what usually a personal assistant do yet I got so excited because Donkey promoted his boss passionately. He said that when you get offered a certain number of salary, she sometimes add more on that if she likes you, and I kept thinking well, i'm very likeable, so lets try. Donkey also said that his boss is like a mother to him, for always helping him financially, and I, again, as an unemployed, got more excited because maybe I can spend my 2 months holiday getting paid because the month of June would be my last month receiving my salary from Uber! ☹️
So I said to him, Let me!
and he replied, Go chat her! Say that you're interested and you have 2 months off from your graduate school!
and I said, OK!
I greeted her, and said that I'm interested in being your personal assistant. She didn't reply. She just said that I need to finish my 102-pages first. OK! I accepted!
Yet, on Monday, I remember it clearly, Donkey said to me that his boss, lets call her Eleven, wanted to meet me in person. I remember it was July 2nd, 2018. I said, OK! Will be there at 9am! look how excited I was.
I want to highlight that I love to work. I don't like to sell myself short even when I don't have any experience in the area. I always wants to learn. If you, or any company, wants to hire a professional then I probably can't do it. But I really love to learn something new. So I feel like if I can learn something and be good at it, I'd be a professional myself. and this is the opportunity for me to learn something that I really have nothing in my mind. Zero experience, zero anything. I'm glad that when I first met her, she saw that I have something in me and she decided to hire me. But, I must say that I expected her to give me sometime to at least tell my parents and discuss this with them. Especially this is a temp job and would be wasting my long holiday—which I usually spend helping my mother doing chorus. My mother need to agree first, but the boss, Eleven, had so many schedule to be arranged that she really needed me to start that day. I told my mom and she was a little disappointed, but she seemed to not mind.
I started off the first day quite okay, then a week.
Yet something bothered my mind on my second week of working with her. I must say that she is not a bad boss. She always lecture me something I don't know and I admit that I learn so much from her. But I don't expect her to blame me something that was not my fault.
That day, frankly, was not a good day for me. I cried. A lot.
She made me cry because she yelled at me for something that she actually did, not me.
She made a mistake telling her driver to go to her meeting place. She said one place—which was a wrong address—and she blamed me for not paying attention to google maps. Its like she expect everything to be perfect but she actually the one who made a mistake, worst, she blamed me afterwards!
That day was a turning point for me.
I cried for days remembering that day. I know its something dramatic for a person to do—who cried for days because you get blame once?
I don't know why I did that. I always have something in mind that I need to be happy. I need to work in a happy environment. Look at my past working experience, for example. I worked at Uber! Number one greatest start-up company from San Francisco, filled with great people who mostly my age. Nobody blame anybody for something they did themselves. The office filled with happiness, laughter, and professionalism. We get to share what we love, what we confused about, just we get to meet great people. I get to make a lot of friends! Get to meet a lot of highly educated people with really wonderful experience. And they are so down to earth!
Working with Eleven doesn't even begin to reach any level of my experience in Uber. Level one—happiness. Not at all. Its way to far to even begin to be happy here.
On Thursday Juli 12, I said to her that I was sick, need a day-off. She agreed but I think she sense something from me. Later afterwards, she wanted to accompany and help me to reach to a good doctor to heal my illness. I rejected her and said to her the reason. Mam, every person's body has a signal in them and that signal need to be sensed. I've experienced this before and its the same situation. I got super sick in the middle of weekdays and I needed a full bed-rest for 2 weeks and that made my manager a little angry. It was not some regular sickness, it was a signal from my body that I need to get outta there. Resign and find another job. And I did. And look, I never, in my 2 years working at Uber, got sick for more than 2 days! That's because I was happy!
No I didn't say that to her.
I said that I don't want to disappoint her anymore and that my sickness can sometimes bother her busy schedule. It may be best for me to just quit and I'll help her find and tutor the new personal assistant later on. She agreed and this is my last week with her.
Unpopular Opinion about Marriage
Why, all of a sudden, I talk about marriage?
I don't want to get into details. But Eleven, my boss for 2 weeks of working as personal assistant, is a widow with 3 grown-up children. For 2 weeks, I find this person a little bit odd. Unfortunately, odd in a bad way. She sell herself so high to every educated to non-educated colleague of her. She say to me that she's a Ph.D yet I find her knowledge is not even close to a Ph.D. For a master degree then, yes. For a Ph.D, I'm sorry I don't think so. She sometimes talks lie. I don't know if this is intentional or not, but for a Ph.D who lies, sorry I don't believe you were a Ph.D.
She always brag about being so busy. About having to teach 6 different universities—that I find weird! Who agreed to teach 6 different universities and still hope she still have time to do her work (for 3 different companies!)? She always said that she studied in Japan—Yet have no idea about Japanese language! How?
She is a person who always right. If someone argue with her and that someone seem to almost win the argument, she won't let them. As if she always need to win. Who does that? Tell me a good reason why somebody need to win every argument she had in her entire life. Nothing.
She is weird in everything! One day, she said to me that she wants to build a sworn translate foundation. She wants! Its something that she plan to do. The foundation isn't officially build yet. No reinforcement. Its just a plan. But the next day she asked me to broadcast an introductory about the foundation and it listed there WE ACCEPT YOUR ORDER NOW! I, being the one who just need to translate it to English, can't say anything. But that's so the opposite of building a foundation! She fake the foundation saying that its already build, then she introduced it to her colleague. Turns out, many people congratulate her and send documents to the foundation to be translated! I mumbled myself, whose going to translate it? Me? No way! I wants to quit this job and this is my last week. No way I accept any job from her ever again.
I mean, from something I describe above, why on earth would she do that? She talks too much and those words means nothing. Its like a blank canvas. She said about building a foundation, but she broadcast it while its not even build yet. She fake it! I think all her colleague should never believe in what she said because its like she's lying for everything. Her education, her achievement, everything. I can't believe her.
Then, I started comparing her to my family. Especially my mother who still have a husband. I did my research and come up to a conclusion:
everytime my mother made a mistake in saying something, in doing something, or in deciding something, my dad always correct her. then, she's back on the right track.
this woman, Eleven, doesn't have a husband.
she feels superior. nobody correct her for what she said, what she did, what she decided. she always find herself always right and always find a way to not lose in any kind of situation. and that's bad.
I want to say that she is like a floating cloud, in the middle of a storm.
I don't want to believe to a myth that woman need to get married or at least have a healthy relationship to be happy. But I think this woman needs a husband.
She's lost right now.
She work 24/7. Teaching to 6 different uni, handling 3 different companies, and she's doing great—at least she thought she is.
As a matter of fact, that person needs to be evaluated. Spreading lies to her surroundings—which I know that she befriended with a lot of important people—is bad for her reputation. She need to be corrected about everything she said. Don't sell everything too high. Don't brag about your achievement, you sounds stupid if you do that. Don't say something you haven't done before, like that foundation, or your Ph.D! You could hurt your career. Just don't do anything stupid. Accept things you can actually do. Don't accept 6 universities from different cities and still hope that you could get a good night sleep—or free weekends. Be rational. Be efficient. Don't brag about your busy schedule to anyone, you sounds pointless. Just, don't brag about anything!
That's when I thought she needs a husband. A person she loves that could help her fix her life. A person that she really listen—unlike all her children.
I know this hurts my judgement about marriage. I don't ever want to tell a person to get married to get happiness but sorry, mam, you really are desperately need a husband.
But all in all, I'm glad this is my last week working with her. I always wish her good fortune and good luck.