Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Fresh Graduate Always Get Insulted

This is me ranting about my second job that I got 4 months ago.

As you all know, being a fresh graduate isn't easy. In the working field, fresh graduates always get insulted, trampled on, consider as someone who knows nothing, and everything negative in your head is probably true as well. In that case, fresh graduate who (finally!) gets a job should, must, have to, need to just nod along and follow every instructions that we get from the seniors-eventho sometimes it's a trap. 

This year is for me. I graduated my bachelor of art this August and finally now just an unemployed woman, or girl. I'm pretty young lol. Being an unemployed girl is actually bothered me so much as I have been working since my third year of college; part time teacher, part time translator. But, I don't feel like working in those busy offices from 8 am to 6 pm and spend 5 days working and 2 day-off. It is just too stressful for me. Other than stressful, I find myself still want to pursue my master degree as soon as I can. So those big corporate job isn't for me. 

There's an opening for part time teacher at English school thingy near my house! I got super excited cause the English school is actually pretty huge in the English school field, but I ain't gonna specify the name of the school. The interview went great. I got the signal that the center manager liked me and my personality. He talked for almost 2 hours in the interview itself which drove me into thinking that I might get the job. Guess what, the second interview went even better! I liked the center manager as well for putting his faith in me, and I got the job! 

Pretty exciting! 
But, the first day of teaching was rough. 
One of the seniors told me to do some research first before actually teaching a class. So I have to observe every single class in every single levels possible to know the background. I was fine by that. 
As I entered the teachers room, there was one beautiful teacher who smiled at me. I felt pretty good. I felt the aura was pretty welcomy. But then I didn't know what to do. I am a pretty shy and withdrawn girl. It's hard for me to fit into some strangers group for the first time so what I did that time was sit and silent. I didn't talk. I introduced my self at the beginning as they smiled at me but that was it. I couldn't force my self to think something to say to them cause all of them are grownups and I feel like a teenager. 

They were chattering pretty loud and I kept silent. I even bowed my head a little to show respect. But I guess they couldn't read my signal that I was respecting them. 
After observing, I felt pretty happy! The last class I observed was very welcome to me and the teacher explained every details about teaching in there. I finally got my confidence! 

Basically, the English school has its own lesson plan in an app. It is in the computer and what's good about it is that teachers don't have to make their own lesson plan. They just have to follow what's in the computer and prepare the exercises and viola, it's done. 
Those technical way of teaching is modern and easy, but also difficult for me to adapt as I was a newbie. 

Until now, I still wish that I could get a training before actually teaching a class. Not somekind of teaching training tho, more of a technicality training. How to use the app, how to print, how to analyze and get the idea from those long lesson plan, how can I achieve the goals, how to score the routine test, how to score the speaking test, all of that stuff. But never got them. 

My first day of teaching, the admin staffs told me that I need to ask one of the teachers in the teachers room and ask them to teach me about the technicality. But when I entered the room, they were busy with their stuffs. They were chattering and reading something and thinking about something. No one even notice that I entered the room. I was okay by that. I came up with an idea to ask the male teacher as he probably could help me better. He does help me better. But I still need a lot of explanation. There are still a lot of questions going on in my head. I couldn't get the answer because guess what, I got some scary and mean stare from the teachers. 

There goes a month and two. I got sick. I remembered it so much because it was Ramadhan and I had a lot of class every single day from 3 pm to 9 pm. It was pretty intense for me cause obviously it was Ramadhan. My body tend to get sick every Ramadhan, plus I was working so there's that. 
I got my usual asthma attack and big fever so I had to stay in bed for a week. I went to a doctor but I then got my usual allergic reaction to certain drugs, which is swollen eyes. I blamed the doctor for not paying too much attention to the patient profile. But there was nothing I could do. I just took my usual anti allergic drugs and stayed in bed for another 2 weeks, which means that I had to absent from teaching 3 weeks tops. I knew that my boss would think that I lied, and so the other staffs. I sent them a photo of my swollen face as a proof that I really was sick. They were pretty nice about it. They wished me to get better. 

As I got better, I came to the English school center to wish Eid Al-Fitr. I explained about my sickness but something hit me very hard that I still couldn't believe she said that to me. So, she is one of the staffs. She probably disappointed cause I got sick and it took a long time for me to healed. But I still think she should have understand that I was sick. 
She specifically said to me, "Aliva I couldn't be more disappointed of you. Why didn't you tell me that you would got sick a week before it happened..? Why couldn't I get a heads up.." 
but of course in Bahasa. 

A heads up? I was sick, for God sake. Did I know a week before that I would get sick? You know, it was an attack, of course it's sudden. I was pretty mad by that point. How could she be so dumb to say that. 

Months gone by and all of them still bragging about me gotten sick and spent 3 weeks in bed. I remembered a lot of the staffs kept wishing me to stay healthy but in a mean and sarcasm way. Of course, I took it with smiling and just nod along. I was on fire, you know. 
3 months past and I still got those mean stare from the teachers. My mother told me that probably they were jealous because I am still young and I am a bachelor of English literature from a very sophisticated university in the country, so I would be a threat for them. I believe that. 

But then the problem wasn't the teachers anymore. It was the woman who said she was disappointed with me when I got sick. She always said mean things to me or complain about me. Everything I did was wrong and she didn't hesitate to yell in front of my face. 
To yell at me if I'm wrong, that's fine. 
But she did worst. 
She judged without finding out the truth. 

I said earlier about how fresh graduate always get insulted, and this is it. I was teaching a very naughty class with all boys who kick each other's ass. I handled everything with love and kindness, because of course, I am still new. I would want them to respect me because of my kindness, not my yelling. 
But then one of the kids ran out of class and told his granny about it. She, the staff, came to my class and gave them advice. I nod along, as usual. But then she corrected how I teach and how I arranged the chairs for my kids. She corrected me with high pitch voice without even realizing that there was a bunch of kids who has ears! As if I was dumb and stupid. I just looked at her and continue teaching. 

That was case #2. Case #1 is the disappointment of sickness. 

Case #3: 

I was about to teach a grownup class, probably junior high class. I asked the previous teacher which class they usually used and the teacher told me. I went to the class and wait. A bunch of grownups came and looked confused. I asked if I were in the right class, but then I wasn't. The class should've had start about 20 minutes ago but I still didn't know which class. I asked the mean staff girl, she yelled again. Right in front of me and the students that I was going to teach that day. She yelled and insulted and judged me while I just asked a simple question. What's happening? 

Did she not know that those students have ears or brains or feeling that might drive them into thinking that I'm somekind of a dumb? What if they thought that I was dumb and they start to behave shamelessly or savagely eventho I'm their teacher because of something she did?
That whore keep pushing me down the edge as if she doesn't want me to live there anymore. As if I were a threat, like my mom said.

Realizing that my mom was right, I started to make up an excuse for me to not teach everyday. Day by day my schedule keep decreasing and I felt calmer already. But then I couldn't take it anymore.

I quit.

I finally quit.
The last day of teaching was really a happy day for me. I kept stopping my self not to cry out of happiness lol.
I know I must've let down the manager that was so kind and gentle and professional, but so sad that he has a lot of unprofessional staff that could easily bring the school down.

I strongly suggest for every fresh graduate who wants to try the teaching field, avoid the English school I taught 4 months ago. It's in Pamulang and the franchise name of the school is popular.

I left the center proudly and happily. I hate saying goodbye to my students and I hate leaving them, but for my own sake, I better off.